As the last post strongly suggests, the best ways to spend the night before our AP exam are
- reading through selections in The Language of Composition (our sometimes textbook);
- reading through the glossary of terms provided from The Language of Composition; and/or
- reading through feedback like the feedback posted below.
Your skills can’t be sharpened overnight. You can sharpen your focus, however. Read on. If you have any last-minute questions, leave them here or send an email; I’ll do my best to get back to you this evening.
Section I
To sharpen your focus for Section I, consider just these three multiple-choice questions: 5, 39, and 53.
Question 5 asks about lines 19-25 of the passage (“Men do not . . . the kitchen”), which supports a claim by comparing work-related activities. Most of you chose the distractor, which was answer choice C. The key here is which verb each answer choice uses. C is the distractor because its verb (“evaluates”) is not quite as accurate as the correct answer choice, E, which uses a more appropriate verb (“supports”). Watch the verbs. That’s one reason we did the GARAS exercise on that part of speech; the rest of these answer choices are almost identical, but the verbs are not.
Question 39 has a distractor, but your answer choices were all over the place. The correct response is choice A, because “as it were” indicates a pun. This is a phrase you might not have seen before, but in context, it ought to be clear that the author is saying “go out of my way” both figuratively and literally — hence the play on words. You should be able to eliminate choices C, D, and E here, and B is incorrect because it’s not underscoring a main point; it’s a pun that contributes to tone and style more than anything else.
Question 53 saw you split most evenly between choice A and choice D. E is the correct answer choice, and what I’d like you to keep in mind for tomorrow morning is Occam’s razor: Sometimes it’s the most straightforward answer that fits. Choice E is the most direct result of the author coping with “the distortions of memory,” and it’s the simplest: He made it part of his novel.
Section II
To sharpen your focus for Section II, read the feedback below. This was transferred over from a Google Doc. One of you asked for direct feedback on the typed versions of all three timed responses; I went through and added feedback that could, if given by proxy, help more than just him.
In lieu of the Google Form, this was probably the best way to go about it, and I was able to knock together feedback that might help all of you. Read the essays, of course; that’s part of what will help you.
Note that my comments became footnotes when converted to HTML. Clicking the superscript letters should work; if it doesn’t, scroll back and forth.
Essay 1
With the emergence of the Internet age, more and more people can access information and knowledge from their homes, so they may no longer have the need to go to public libraries. However, public libraries should be kept because they are still centers of education, providing the foundations of democracy, bringing communities together, and supplying resources for learning[a].
Many critics of public libraries argue that since “the connected world has.. Infinitely more information than can be found in even the largest library (Source E)[b],” libraries no longer have a role in society. It is true that anyone with a computer can access information on the Internet, but that doesn’t mean libraries have to go. Library science researcher Michael Crandall writes that for many people, libraries are their “only access point for digital information and services.” In fact, 22% of library computer users relied on libraries as “their only source for access to computers and the Internet (Source C).” Without libraries and their supply of computers, these already-underprivileged students would be at an even greater educational disadvantage than their peers. Furthermore, former American Library Association president Nance Kranich believes education serves as the foundation of democracy (Source A). It is necessary to have “an informed citizenry” to maintain a successful, reliable democracy. With that being said,[c] it would be best to keep public libraries in the future in order to give access to online information to as many people as possible.
Additionally, public libraries are constantly evolving and adapting to the rapidly-changing age of technology. Libraries are proving wrong the common believe that more technology equates to the decline of libraries. In reality, they are always “finding creative ways to meet demand (Source C).” They have recreated the “bookmobile,” for example, that take “computers and Internet access to parts of their communities where there are no library buildings.” Some libraries also provide homework help, access to e-reading materials, and lessons in how to use these devices. For example, an Illinois public library hosts lessons on Microsoft Excel (Source B). To many students, the library is one of their most useful resources.
Libraries are not only the traditional “quiet place to study (Source E),” they are also hubs for community activities. People of all ages — toddlers, grade-school children, adults, seniors — can come together[d] for events at public libraries. Examples include “Terrific Tales for Toddlers,” “Nursing Home Visits,” and “Writer’s Group for Adults (Source B).”
Public libraries should still be kept in the future, even with the advancement of technology, because they are centers of education and community activities[e].
Essay 2
Clare Boothe Luce gave a speech at the Women’s National Press Club in 1960 in front of an audience of journalists. In her speech, her goal was to criticize the journalists’ tendency to write sensationalist, rather than accurate, stories. She prepares the audience for the upcoming criticism by building her ethos through parallel structure, anaphora, and diction[f].
In the first paragraph, Luce says to the audience, “I am less happy than you might think and more challenged than you could know.” This line utilizes the power of parallel structure, juxtaposing her presumed emotions and her real feelings. It emphasizes that this speech that she would be giving to the journalists will be different than most they have encountered before. Luce is here to “throw rocks” at the American press, something that it is not used to hearing. Luce admits that she is “flattered to be a guest of honor,” but in the first half of her parallel line — “I am less happy than you might think” — she quickly explains to the audience that just because they invited her, doesn’t mean that she will say only positive things about them, preparing them for the inevitable criticism. The latter half of the lin — “more challenged than you could know” — builds Luce’s ethos by portraying herself as a sympathetic and understanding speakers. She does not want to tear down the audience just for the fun of it, but rather reminds the audience that they asked for it, wanting the criticism, by inviting her to speak[g].
Luce also utilizes appropriate[h] syntax through anaphora. In the fourth paragraph, Luce repeats “It is the effort” at the beginning of three consecutive sentences. Following this phrase in each sentence, Luce describes all the positive aspects about journalism. By complimenting and heaping praise onto her audience, Luce is able to show that she is unbiased and objective. She puts things into perspective, recognizing that the reporters are indeed good in many ways, demonstrating that she isn’t going to blindly insult them. Luce’s compliments culminate in her saying that “[good journalism] is the pursuit of and the effort to state the truth.” Luce acknowledges that the journalists obviously do their best to write an accurate story, that they don’t have any deceitful malintentions. This statement is directly relevant to the main topic of Luce’s argument, so it well-prepares the audience for Luce’s criticism. It means that Luce isn’t trying to take anything away from the journalists’ hard work, but it just giving a valid opinion.
Lastly, Luce incorporates specific phrases to boost her ethos. In the last two paragraphs of her opening, Luce says that there is much “right with [the American press]” and that it is “the best press in the world.” These phrases further prove that Luce is a reliable, rational speaker, making it more likely for the audience to pay attention to whatever criticism Luce has to say about them. Again, she is complimenting the press to show that she knows not everything is bad about the press and will only be condemning on particular aspect of it[i].
Essay 3
I do agree that having a good outer image is essential, but it doesn’t always have to be artificial[j].
With the current prevalence of social media in today’s age of technology, celebrities are constantly scrutinized, so having the ability to project a good image of themselves is important. But just because they “appear to have these qualities,” doesn’t mean they are faking it — they could genuinely be good people. For example, NBA superstar LeBron James is one of the most scrutinized athletes ever by media, so naturally, he must portray himself as a good person otherwise he would receive even more criticism. However, he backs up his image through his actions. He is a generous philanthropist, donating millions to charity; he uses his Instagram Stories as a platform for other people to share their own inspirational journeys; he is seen in multiple videos as having great relationships with his family and fans[k].
In some cases, the image is, in fact, artificial, [l]but the artifice is necessary to avoid discomfort of conflict. For example, in “The Catcher in the Rye,” the main character, Holden, is talking to one of his classmate’s mother on the train. She asks him how her son is doing, and Holden lies to her, embellishing and fabricating her son’s “achievements.” He does this to comfort the mother because he doesn’t want her to be concerned or worried about her son’s experience and performance at school. Holden’s interaction with the mother supports this “phoniness” being an essential skill in life.
It is also important to make a good impression of oneself in order to make it in the real world. An example of this is in interviews, whether for a job or for college. It is essential for the prospect to bring out the best in him or herself to obtain the desired role. It is true that he or she may spin some negative characteristics into positive ones for the sake of making a good pitch, but this does not necessarily imply artifice since it is still one of his or her traits[m][n].
[a]Exactly the kind of thesis you want for this essay.
[b]Put the source citations after the quotation. The blending you’ve done is great — placing the quot. within your own sentence.
[c]The essay’s strong enough that I’d focus on memorizing a couple of techniques for the future, like avoiding successive sentences that have the same sort of structure. You can drop this transitional phrase; the next paragraph starts similarly enough to want a different sort of rhythm here.
[d]This is where you’d develop the idea, if you had more time — explicating what it means for a community to come together, offering details about the examples you give in the next sentence, etc., to flesh things out. Time is the issue, I know.
[e]This is still a 6 or 7 essay, despite the underdeveloped ending, because of the strength of the earlier writing. I’d lean toward a 7; that might be overvaluing the style and control you have, but those elements are particularly strong.
[f]That’s exactly how to use precise verbs to set up this kind of analysis — “prepares” and “building” instead of some variation of “uses.” That’s the proxy feedback to give any peers who are listening: Use the best verb, and the task gets easier.
[g]Stellar paragraph.
[h]That adjective doesn’t convey enough meaning. It’s not an issue, though; the way you go on to analyze what this does (“complimenting and heaping praise”) is more than enough. Try to find consistently precise adjectives, though, and you’ll be in range of a 9.
[i]I’d edge toward an 8 on this one, although the lack of even a perfunctory conclusion might lead some graders to hold you to a 7. I think the sentential adverbs (“Lastly,” “Again”) set this up as a culminating bit of analysis. Better to squeeze in a recap, though, even if you are parroting the first paragraph’s ideas.
[j]This is a bit too short an introduction to be effective. That second paragraph is strong; this first one needs at least some context and background, even if it’s just a boilerplate reference to the prompt that sets up the real work of the essay.
[k]Effective use of parallelism here. James is a recognizable example, too, that lets you draw the contrast you want.
[l]You’re adept at varying syntax, and this is a prime example of that. If you are able to offer last-minute proxy feedback to your peers, encouraging them to find a place to introduce this way of emphasizing through this kind of language — the use of “in fact” n the middle of a sentence — is likely to boost the writing.
[m]Through this point, your reasoning is cogent and your examples are illustrative. Time is the issue. You could see a 7 or 8 here with even a perfunctory ending. I’d lean toward a 6 for what you have on the page; your style and meaning are so strong that anything less would be nit-picking.
[n]So that’s a 7, 8, 6 from me for what you have on the page, with a margin of error putting you no lower than a 6, 7, 6. Great work. And thank you for always doing more than just what is required. It never goes unnoticed, and it is always appreciated.